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My wife and I have some time arguments about spanking kids. She thinks that the act of such is a failure of parents and admission of weakness as the parent failed to communicate his/her authority without violence. I on the other hand, remembering the very many times I found myself walking to the closet to bring used engine belt for my father so he can make me band over a chair and smack my little bottom with that belt 2 or 3 times, well I think since I survived, perhaps it was not such a bad practice that my parents believed was useful in raising a reasonable person?
The counter argument is that spanking teaches kids violence. That perhaps is true to some degree. It teaches them that if you have authority and tell people to do something and they do not and if you tell them that many times and they still refuse to do it, they may be physically feeling the consequences of such refusal by pinches of pain on their little bottom.
Here is my opinion what's wrong in general even about thinking that spanking a kid may be wrong to begin with (clarification, we are talking about occasional light spanking after trying repeating warnings, time outs, etc. ... not abusive spanking right away)
Kids are kids. They do not have any rights till they graduate from High School. Yest, you hear it right, not till they are 18 even, but they only get rights when they earn their own money to support themselves. Spank them occasionally. They will respect it and a little violence they learn will be nothing in comparison to even simple cartoon such as Sponge Bob that they may watch on TV or play video games.
Sincerely,
Shamick Przemek Gaworski
3 comments:
spank me baby, spank me ... oh yehh ... that feels so good ... :-)
What you are saying is that--because your kids have no rights--it's OK to treat them in a way that, should some one treat you that way, you would expect them to be jailed or you would sue them. You're also saying that it's alright for you to hurt your kids (a right you wouldn't give to anyone else) but not alright for someone to hurt you, not alright for you to hurt someone else's kids, not alright (fill in the blanks). It's OK to hurt your children even though you would say that, in general, children need more protection than adults and are less able to help/protect themselves. One other point: If you look at your children's reactions, do they seem to think that it's "a few pinches of pain". If you remember how you felt after your spankings--was that how you regarded at the time? my guess is that (to ensure that you've done a good job) you hurt your children enough to have them crying. Does the fact that you explicitly make an effort at the end of the note to diminish the effect on the children say something: That you feel obliged to lie to yourself and others about what's going on here. Does the fact that you recoil at the word "hurt"--despite that's what you're doing--tell you something about the way you are misleading yourself?
Thanks for your comment anonymous.
I think generally speaking I do not enjoy spanking or hurting ... (reminds me a bit about abortion issues ... just because one is pro-choice does not mean they love blood in doctor's office)
I think it is a tool that should be available to parents when other tools have been used and failed.
Take adult for instance with driving on highway. There are signs, if you go over the speed limit, you get a ticket. If you get many tickets or drive drunk, you get punished more, perhaps with jail at the end - and now I let you use your imagination what happens too often in jail (spanking is nothing in comparison)
Also, spanking should be always light, it is the act that matters not how much it hurts.
Kids must know that there is an end of a line, that they cannot push for ever.
What is the alternative, the stereotypical talking to a spoil rotten kid that is kicking his parent ..."Now, Jim, please stop kicking, that hurts Daddy's feeling ..."
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